Short and Sporadic Ponderings of Yours Truly.

"Never leave home in socks with holes because you never know when you're going to try on a pair of shoes."

-BIJOU Living

Elegance, etiquette, composure, confidence, and humility. This seems to be the formula for adulthood. One step at a time. One pair of shoes at a time.

Who knew the library has so many...books? What a wonderful, wonderful world. I intend to one day read a book on etiquette borrowed from this previously mentioned place of wonder. It will be some kind of a rude awakening, I'm sure. Isn't that ironic.

"Fashion is about eventually being naked.''

-Vivienne Westwood

Well put, Vivienne Westwood. I might just name my daughter after you. Let us see how she turns out.

I don't think I will ever really know myself because I am too preoccupied with changing myself, expanding my mind, and learning new things, new places, new people. Oh, I almost didn't see you there, College. Don't jump out at me like that. I imagine books of etiquette frown upon it.

Deep Fried Scallops.

I've literally wanted to blog every single day this past week but I didn't have access to my computer. Now. I really don't have anything to say but instead I'm typing out of common courtesy for past yearnings. I wanted to write so badly that I started typing on my phone and saved a draft...and my phone is no magical, miraculous, super-computer utility so this was some kind of commitment. I'm not really feeling it anymore though. I don't remember where I was going with it....

5:47 pm. I am facing the clock in a seat closest to the door. The dim light on the wall flickers rhythmically from the pulsing ceiling fan (not a burned out battery). I am staring straight at the wall, at no spot in particular, without moving my gaze, like I was staring at a spot in particular. I pop my gum.

5:49 pm. People filter in and out, making the bells strapped on the door jingle. I keep leaving the spot on the wall to glance at the door like I'm waiting for someone. It doesn't really smell like a bakery. It doesn't really look like a bakery. It isn't just a bakery. It is also a restaurant. A woman comes in, and sits at a round table set for six. She orders soup in Cantonese and it is brought out in less than two minutes. She sits and drinks, pushing her graying perm out of the way every time she took a spoonful, and talking aloud for everyone to hear.

And then my mom came back. And I stopped writing and it's not climactic to say the least. I'm sorry if you read it and you were expecting something. I really do think I was going somewhere with it but I'm really not sure anymore. Anyway. It was downtown Chicago, in Chinatown. This is a perfect segway for what I really wanted to talk about: food.

If there are two things I strongly believe it's that:

1. If you do or say anything with enough conviction, it is the truth--think organized religion, or Antoinette.
2. Food is the pinnacle of mankind.

This past week gave me hope for mankind. It started with homemade crepes and too much whip cream, and it escalated into something beautiful.
Day one in Chicago began in Chinatown. Authentic Sichuan Cuisine. Sichuan is a province in Southwestern China, close to the mountains. It also happens to be my dad's hometown. They are very proud of their food, known as one of the Four Great Traditions of Chinise cuisine. Think spicy, hot, fresh and fragrant. Delicious. We had some really traditional appetizers including crispy duck (pictured right), rabbit, fish, pig lung, and even chicken. They have some good vegetarian dishes too, haha. For dessert, frozen yogurt with mochi and pineapple.
The next day I had my first Chicago style hot dog--mustard, onion, sweet pickle relish, a dill pickle spear, tomatoes, pickled sport peppers, and celery salt. And then my mom craved some culture and we went back to Chinatown and ate at a restuarant that served authentic Chinese from her hometown, Guangzhou (Canton). There's some saying that the Cantonese "eat everything with legs except a table, and everything with wings except an airplane." It is much lighter and subtle in comparison to Sichuanese food but it is still good. We had a typical kind of rice porridge served with eel and honey glazed fish. For dessert we had vanilla ice cream with red bean paste.
We ended the trip with Italian gelato, some used books and some phenomenal Thai food. Specifically, the best Pad Thai I've ever had, spicy catfish and basil chicken. And one last frozen yogurt experience.

And then I came home. And then. I went to Connecticut. It's your typical love story. Girl meets burger. And then she eats it. Typical. Except, it wasn't your typical burger. It was a hamburger from Louis Lunch, where they claim to have served the very first all-American burger, between two slices of toast, not fried but broiled, always without ketchup or mustard. Washed down with a dry soda. Amazing.

The next day I went down to the beach and had deep fried scallops at this tiny little restaurant right next to the ocean. They were the best scallops I've ever tasted. Not stringy or tough. Cut like butter tasted like meat. Tell me this wasn't a good week. Well, you have no idea what you're talking about.

I decided next year, I'm going to take a road-trip solely to find some good food. Come with me.

Lime Flavored Jello.

I haven't posted in awhile but there's no inspiration to write like the inspiration that comes from staying home on a Friday night when there are so many other fun things going on. I don't think I've ever been invited had more plans that I couldn't do.
Oh well. Sounds like another dance party alone. Yeah, yeah? Uh, yeah!
Ps. I'm thinking some kind of really unofficial gathering at my house on a Tuesday night a week from now kind of for my birthday but not really dance party night picnic campfire board games(Stratego perhaps? Sam Wyatt start reading my blog.) sort of deal. The kind where I invite too many people and only the cool ones show up/the ones who don't have anything to do and thought this might be Pleasant. You guys would fall into one of those categories right? Be there.
I'm thinking about cake but then it might seem like a birthday party, but who knows. Everything is up in the air or suspended in jello. Lime flavored, as always.
Maybe I'll have jello there. Find out for yourself. Make an appearance. Don't bring me presents, bring food.
Oh wait I almost forgot. We're seniors!

A work in progress.

"Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be. "

-Winston Churchill

It's not quite finished (or edited properly), but it'll do. Reflection on this year:

I met a lot of really great people this year, people who I admire and am comfortable around, people who are genuinely funny, people who I always have fun with, and people who I can talk to about anything. Consequently, I became more comfortable with myself and I took another step in the direction of not caring about what other people think. Let's call it...maturity, for kicks. Lots of things have happened this year and if nothing else, it is at least interesting. But it is something else, it's a lot else.

There is a defining line between the people who will always be there for me and the people who laugh at my jokes. I am so grateful. I am extremely lucky. I am surrounded by wonderful people. And I love you all.

I learned that sometimes trying to protect yourself and keeping a safe distance can sometimes mean lying. The best way to combat this, is to just try and feel. For example. The truth is I'm not a die-hard cynic and neither are you. I'm a romantic trying to hide. But I'm starting not to mind so much. Because after all, what is wrong with believing in love? In others? In humanity? My biggest regrets are always the same. Not being brave enough, lying, not saying anything, not trying to say anything.

Things I would love to change about myself/improve upon:

1. Gain composure.
2. Do not be afraid of rejection.
3. Do not stop trying.
4. No more empty promises
5. Work on my relationship with my parents

My Reachable goals for this coming year/summer:

1. Get into college. Ha.
2. Fight senioritis.
3. Don't procrastinate on college/scholarship essays.
4. Make relationships with your teachers. Not just for the recommendation letter
5. Maintain/better organize Picnic Club
6. Do something worthwhile with my summer
7. Meet some underclassmen
8. Get my license
9. Get a better job
10. This is obviously in no particular order

2010-2011. It is our year. Let's make the most of it.

What does success mean to me?

Happiness.

Senior Moment

I'm not even graduating and I'm tearing up? Tonight was the last choir concert for seniors and I really cried. Does this foreshadow our senior year at all?
Holy cow. I'm going to miss them so much.
I wish all of them read my blog so I can talk about how much I lubbbb them and how they are wonderful, beautiful, amazing people, and how I can't even imagine what highschool will be like without them.
The day after tomorrow the school will feel... empty.

LBH.

I'm making the next abbreviation.
LBH= let's be honest.
lbh. I'm the shit.
Ps. One never really realizes how embarrassing she is until she shows a group of people a video of herself on a Friday night because she thought it was "funny."
Falso.
That's not honest.
That is a lie.
I am embarrassing.
Back to being honest.

Dublin is Hip-Hopppin'

What a healthy stache.
I have lots o things in common with these two people.
I will also cutabitch, Carol Seaver.
And I also have a healthy mustache, Rollie Fingers (what a sweet name for a baseball player, yes? Yes.)
Ps. Henna smells like minty lavender.