Wishes.

Top: Tie-neck Blouse, The Gap, $59.50
Skirt: Atomic tweed mini, J. Crew, $120.00
Shoes: Mint-green leather peep-toe pumps, Marc by Marc Jacobs


Yeah. I just made a virtual outfit. Gap and J Crew conveniently use the same color as a backdrop. I WANT THESE SHOES FOR PROM.
Please be on the lookout for mint green pumps por moi!


Anyway about this lookbook...I obviously don't belong. How the hell did I even get one?


Ps. Raleigh and Jordan. You guys are an inspiration. Here's my shoddy attempt at a style diary. TAKE A LOOK!

Growth v. Achievement.

If today was a color it'd be cream, rose and peach, which are three different words for the same color.

It is 55 degrees outside and I am hyped up on endorphins because I hiked 3-5 miles this morning with my dad. Even though I lost my one of my favorite earrings that were pricey it's okay because I can be a Buddhist for a day or two and remind myself that material things don't matter. And after those one or two days are up I'll go back to being an all-American consumer and buy myself some new ones=)

But anyway during the hike con mi papa, I told him about my plans for The Columbus Adventures, where I explore Columbus like a tourist, and take pictures of Columbus, like a tourist. His response was something like "That's great but who are you going to show these too? What's the point of doing it if nobody knows about it?"

.....And cue internal conflict.

So is personal growth only valuable with recognition? Is achievement in general only considered achievement if people know that you did it?

In reality the answer is yes. Because no matter how great you are if you aren't affecting anybody else positively it really doesn't matter. It is essentially worthless.

However, I also think that if I better my self and my mind than it will affect the way I  perceive the world which would in turn change the way I react to others, and if the consensus is that I am in fact bettering myself then the way I react to others will be better.

I guess the only real issue here is the idea of an extrinsic source of motivation. Does the desire for all things have nothing to do with becoming a better, wiser, kinder person and everything to do with fucking bitches and getting money? Of course, in this sense fucking bitches and getting money is symbolic for a litany of other things including fame, recognition, blah, blah, blah.

Just because you're a starving artist does that make you any less of an artist? If a tree fell in a forest but nobody saw it, did it fall? If nobody heard it, did it still make a sound?

Don't you think that without the intention of gaining recognition and possessing only the intention to make art because it makes you "happy" makes your passion more pure?

"Pure."

Anyway, I don't know what I'm arguing for because I'm publicly posting all my thoughts on this blog and hoping that people will read them and get something out of them...guess I'm not an idealist after all.

But anyway I have to go so we'll leave this inconclusive. 

Personal Statement.

I dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment he has succeeded in his courtship. I like a state of continual becoming, with a goal in front and not behind.

George Bernard Shaw

I AM THE AMERICAN DREAM, except better looking. And smarter.

Megan Chen’s Personal Statement.

Because one of the requirements to apply for every single scholarship is to write a “personal statement” –whatever the fuck that is—I will. BUT. Rest assured, I don’t have any idea what I’m doing and I am really unhappy about it and I will bitch the entire way. Plus I feel like I can’t do this properly without gauging my friends and family for their opinion of me. Which could only go one of two ways…I will either cry because nobody likes me or I’ll cry because people are feeding me bullshit that they love me and I will believe it completely and never doubt a single word. I LOVE BULLSHIT. Go ahead. Tell me I’m pretty. Actually, this is a personal statement. I’ll tell you I’m pretty. I’m pretty. And brilliant. And just a well-rounded freakin’ awesome individual who has twelve-year-old-boy humor and dresses like a trendy mom. You’d think this would average out to seventeen year old girl but really it’s just one hot mess, emphasis on the hot. Because in addition to all of those other desirable qualities, I am also one hot piece of ass. I mean, I run cross country. Technically. I mean, I’ve been a gimp my entire life but if you tell me cripples can’t run too I will go civil rights on you and sue your ass. The outcome of which would probably amount to more than any scholarship I’ve applied to thus far (zero). I haven’t had this bad of writer’s block since…the last time I had to write something important. Well fuck me. It’s probably not okay to say the word ‘fuck’ in a personal statement. Well, fuck you. I guess I won’t win this or any other damn scholarship. But if you don’t award me something substantstial, you will feel bad. Just look at me. Just look at me. I can personally state that: I am a needy child. I am not white. I am a first generation American. I do not have a penis. And I have an extremely foul mouth which can only shine light on my troubled home life. I wasn’t raised properly. But through trial comes success. Yeah. In other words. MY LIFE SUCKS BUT I’M STILL A HOT PIECE OF ASS. GIVE ME MONEY. 

Personal statement--check.
Now for Sam Tsui and his beautiful voice.

Spitballing.

Playing around. The quote is:
"Why, then, the world is mine oyster,
Which I with sword will break."
by Shakespeare.
I don't like any of the word placement. And my image is still a sketch. But it's an idea.
So does it make sense? I'm really not a computer person...

Random, Normal, & Independent.

So I keep doing this thing where I sketch over my stats notes. Inspired by some street art found in Mexico.

The Lost & Found Box

Dear Music,

I've missed you. Some people are just incredible. Haylea Johnson is a godsend. She's lending me her extra iPod...uhh.

Damn.

That's a big deal. That's really extremely nice of her.

You know, there will always be shitty people who do things to hurt you or those you love. But there are also those really great people who do things you never expect them to do, that they have no obligation to do yet choose to do anyway. This. This makes me want to revert to the person I was before senior year happened (what happened?). The person who should know better but still has faith in people and everything else. This. This might just be enough to do that. I've been really snappy lately. 

So here's my apology:

I'm sorry for being a total prick for the past 4 months. I'm sorry if I said anything that offended you. I'm sorry if I said things I didn't actually mean. And I'm sorry if I said things I did mean but didn't mean to word that way. 

I'm sorry I've been a cynical bitch.

Now that that's out of the way....my mom finally went out of town back to cereal and goldfish for dinner. Not together of course.

Question:

Buy myself a new iPod or a Kindle?