Growth v. Achievement.

If today was a color it'd be cream, rose and peach, which are three different words for the same color.

It is 55 degrees outside and I am hyped up on endorphins because I hiked 3-5 miles this morning with my dad. Even though I lost my one of my favorite earrings that were pricey it's okay because I can be a Buddhist for a day or two and remind myself that material things don't matter. And after those one or two days are up I'll go back to being an all-American consumer and buy myself some new ones=)

But anyway during the hike con mi papa, I told him about my plans for The Columbus Adventures, where I explore Columbus like a tourist, and take pictures of Columbus, like a tourist. His response was something like "That's great but who are you going to show these too? What's the point of doing it if nobody knows about it?"

.....And cue internal conflict.

So is personal growth only valuable with recognition? Is achievement in general only considered achievement if people know that you did it?

In reality the answer is yes. Because no matter how great you are if you aren't affecting anybody else positively it really doesn't matter. It is essentially worthless.

However, I also think that if I better my self and my mind than it will affect the way I  perceive the world which would in turn change the way I react to others, and if the consensus is that I am in fact bettering myself then the way I react to others will be better.

I guess the only real issue here is the idea of an extrinsic source of motivation. Does the desire for all things have nothing to do with becoming a better, wiser, kinder person and everything to do with fucking bitches and getting money? Of course, in this sense fucking bitches and getting money is symbolic for a litany of other things including fame, recognition, blah, blah, blah.

Just because you're a starving artist does that make you any less of an artist? If a tree fell in a forest but nobody saw it, did it fall? If nobody heard it, did it still make a sound?

Don't you think that without the intention of gaining recognition and possessing only the intention to make art because it makes you "happy" makes your passion more pure?

"Pure."

Anyway, I don't know what I'm arguing for because I'm publicly posting all my thoughts on this blog and hoping that people will read them and get something out of them...guess I'm not an idealist after all.

But anyway I have to go so we'll leave this inconclusive.